Kim Jong Hyun's Death Teaches Me Life

It's been 10 days after Kim Jong Hyun passed away on December 18, 2017. His death brought so much tears from his family, friends, fans, and also other KPop fans. No one ever expected that he would have gone by taken his own life because he felt depressed. He was such bright and funny person. Even before he is dead, he already finished his concert, filming a variety show "Night Goblin, and filming his MV for his solo comeback next year in 2018. The Director of the MV and Night Goblin said that he was so bright and fun and never thought that he felt depressed.

pic from twt @gehenna1986

He was found dead by police after they received a call from his sister on 4 PM that she thought his brother was about to commit a suicide. Unfortunately police arrived at his residence at 6 PM and found that there was a frying fan with brown liquid and Jong Hyun died by carbon monoxide poisoning.

Later than his death's announcement, one of his friend said that he was frustrated because his ability in making music was worsening. The next day, Nine9 revealed the letter from Jong Hyun, that he asked her to publish after he's gone. In letter, he wrote about how depressed he was and the pain he felt.

After hearing the news of his death, I was so shock and didn't believe it at first. I was Shinee's fan when I first time listened to KPop and as far as I know he never caused any problems or scandals that would made him took his life and I also like his solo music. However, we may never knew what other people have been through in their life.

When I knew the reason behind his death was depression, it reminded me of the message of BTS' new album Love Yourself: Her. The teaser of this album told about their concern of  social problem such as depression and suicide. Especially in RM and V's photo teaser, there was an Ambigram or words written "I'm Fine" but if we turn upside down, the words can be read as "Save Me". It was such a depth meaning about someone who looks fine outside but actually he/she needs help inside.

At first when I watched "I Need U" MV by BTS, I always thought that they are so overreacted when they have problem. I mean like they are not supposed to be that depressed maybe because fortunately I never felt that way and my society is also fine. Until I found the reason that BTS wants to bring a message about the struggle of people who are depressed. Then I realized that the other part of this world, there are some people who have this kind of problem. Especially in the advanced country like USA, Japan, and Korea, which have a high suicide rate, whereas in my country, Indonesia, we barely hear news about it.

Jong Hyun's case made me feel very grateful to be born as a Moslem. We are taught that when we have problem we have Allah who will helps us and He never gives something that beyond our ability. He always has the answer in every problem through His Kalam in Koran. Maybe that's why every time I have a hard time, I always tell my problem to Him in my prayer. I also share it to my best friends because after that I feel so much better.

Unfortunately not many people have this belief, people who have hardship are in different condition, different religion, different culture, etc. Family, friends, and society play an important role of someone's condition. That's why I'm wondering if my friends or family have this kind of hardship and I want them to share their pain so it can make them feel better.

Everyone must be has a hardship. Everyone is struggling for his life. There is someone who is struggling physically or psychically. However there must be a way out of that situation. We have to believe that. We gotta endure the pain until the pain vanishes because we live in this world for a reason. We also need to watch our family and friends who might need our help, at least be there for them so they don't feel lonely.

In Jong Hyun's letter stated this sentence "when the doctor blamed my personality with a quiet voice, I thought it was easy to be a doctor." Here, I realized again that we need to be careful about what we say anything to someone else. It might hurt our communicant indirectly and became a wound in their heart. I always remember what Rasulullah SAW said "just say good things or remain silent." Sometime we just need to change our perspective to understand other people. Like my case which I didn't know about the depression before watching BTS MV.

Finally I can say by what BTS say in their latest album, Love Yourself, Love Myself. Let's live wisely.